This is How Not to Miss A Thing
I love this place so much more than I'd expected. I didn’t even have a grasp of the energy or the beauty of this place. Or how much I would come to love it here. Fall in love with it here. Head over heels in love.
I don’t know what I was expecting, really. Sedona was always this far off, enchanted, almost mythical place to me. A place I'd longed to travel to since I was a young woman. Before I moved to Los Angeles; before I’d been anywhere, really. And despite its close proximity to Southern California, I’d only been to Sedona one time, for 1 day and 1 night, many years ago. I guess when it’s time, you find yourself just where you need to be.
And now is my time to be in Sedona. With each step I take I’m learning more and more what all the fuss is about. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t this. It’s a bit like the best surprise on Christmas morning. Something you always knew you wanted but you didn’t know how much or how deeply it would impact you.
I truly feel like I’m being changed, recalibrated; like I’m undergoing a transformation that goes deeper than cell level to soul level and echoes throughout the cosmos. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this time, this place my entire life.
I want to live every moment to its fullest, to go to every place, hike every trail. Roll around in the Red Earth Energy; paint my body with it. There’s so much to do and see and experience. I feel a sense of urgency not to miss a thing.
But the message here is to slow down. Take it all in. Don’t rush it. Savor it. Feel it in the marrow of my bones. Feel it in the heart of my soul. Let Sedona and the spirit of each individual location wash over me, leave its imprint upon me. Feel into it and listen. Slow down and listen to the spirits of the land. Then give myself the time and space to process, integrate and incorporate this new information.
This is how not to miss a thing.
I Know It Sounds Cliche, but...I Feel it Fits Perfectly
Today is the first day of my new life.
I know that sounds cliché, but…I feel it fits perfectly.
I wanted a new lifestyle, but naturally, some of the old me stepped into it. Truth is, pretty much all of the old me stepped into it. I suppose that’s what makes real and lasting change so difficult at first. Our old selves, our old thoughts, our old sabotages - all our old shit - comes along for the ride.
And all that old shit doesn’t like change. It likes things just the way they are. It resists and it makes you quite uncomfortable in the process.
Until it doesn’t.
You begin to notice and feel the subtle shifts. All the new wanting to come in. Like a whisper, a nudge, tapping you on the shoulder to pay attention. And when you do pay attention, you get a little insight and you feel better. And you go with it. You give that energetic shift your attention. You hop on board, strap yourself in and you go where it’s nudging you to go.
As you go for it, new things, actions, thoughts, habits and ways of being get on board with you and the shift. And the old stuff naturally begins to jump off, fall away. You’re not giving it the attention it’s used to and needs to survive.
Plus, there’s really no room left for it, there with all the new, riding around with you and the shift.
All the old shit can no longer survive without your attention and without you allowing room for it.
I’m sticking with that old cliché, ‘Today is the first day of my new life.’, because it is.
Because a shift is happening within me.
I recognize it. I honor it. I accept it. I welcome it. I allow it to happen. I allow it to be.
So it is, and it is so.
Suckitude is Your Friend. It Tells You Where You Are Isn't Where You Want to Be.
What if everything sucks? What if this whole year, this whole trip is just an adventure in suckitude?
What if we find ourselves, at the end of this year looking back and thinking: “Wow, that was a huge waste of time, energy and money.”?
What if the only fun we have is – was – Oregon? What if we had it right the first time?
Well, I guess then at least we will know. And we won’t have the regret of never having done this, any of it.
I keep trying to get my mind right about things but then, again, we encounter suckitude. I guess part of the adventure is just embracing the suckitude.
The discomfort, the incessant chores, stress, fatigue and lack of our normal standard of cleanliness.
It’s an adventure in Expectation Management, that’s for sure. Acknowledge it. Don’t gloss over the fact that some things suck. Don’t gloss over the fact that some locations are not ideal or even to your liking.
Things aren’t always going to go the way you want them to go. That’s part of the adventure. Acknowledge it and embrace it. Embrace all of it.
Embrace the discomfort, the dirty, the hot, the cold, the constant changing of plans and schedules. Embrace what doesn’t go your way as well as what does. Embrace the experience, whatever that experience is. And make the best of it.
Just because something sucks doesn’t mean you have to be miserable in the midst of it.
Just like frustration is motivation, suckitude is your friend. It tells you that where you are isn’t where you want to be. It motivates you to make changes. It motivates you to make things better. It motivates forward motion.
Part of discovering what you want, what you like, what you enjoy, is finding what you don’t want, what you don’t like, what you do not enjoy. That’s part of the adventure.
This is a great adventure; of that I am certain. But some of it is going to suck. That’s life.
But There is ALWAYS Joy to Be Found in the Journey.
Grab the good. Savor it and love it hard. Seek the joy, the silver lining, the lessons to be gleaned, the good that comes out of every situation.
Find the Beauty because Beauty is everywhere, if only we can find the eyes to see it.
Enjoy the now as best you can and keep moving forward.
There are rainbows and unicorns right around the corner. Of this, I am quite certain.
And then, one day you wake up and you find yourself in Sedona, Arizona. And everything shifts.
Sedona. This is the first place I’ve felt good about being since we crossed the Oregon border and drove back into California three long months ago. Before we drove back to the mountains of Southern California and got our ‘home’ ready to become a short-term rental in preparation for our Great Adventure. Before we moved into Stella full time. Before we set out for green pastures and the great unknown. Ahhh, thank you, Sedona. At long last, Rainbows and Unicorns. (Insert a big, happy sigh here, followed by a smile extending from ear to ear.) 😊😊😊😊😊
It’s exactly the right thing. It’s exactly the right time.
It is only natural to question one’s own sanity when making major life changes.
It is only natural to want to fill up an entire journal page with the words:
WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE?
It is only natural to wonder ‘WHAT WAS I THINKING? AM I NUTS?’ when making a radical departure from the previous status quo. It is only natural that major life changes bring with them a certain amount of stress and second guessing.
All of this is only natural. But when one makes a choice, a concerted, well designed choice to change one’s life, to shake things up, for better or for worse, it does make the process of the actual change and accompanying stress whole lot easier to manage.
I’m not one to stay stuck in the sameness of things. Mostly. I don’t hang on to things when it’s time to let go. Mostly. I clean out my closet regularly and I donate household items I haven’t used for a time or that are no longer useful for my life now. I’m not a hoarder. I’m not a hanger-on-er. I don’t often become complacent, at least not for long.
But sometimes, I feel that life is no longer moving in the direction I want it to. We grow, we change, we evolve. As human beings living and learning, we grow into someone else and our life should reflect that. The external should change to match what’s going on inside.
Well, the time has come in my life for some radical change. We’ve spent the last year – yes, the entire last year preparing for this. My partner, Robert and I purchased an RV, did a light refurbish, readied our home to become a vacation rental property and, at the end of 2019 moved out of our home and into our RV (who we’ve named Stella) full time. 2020 will be about laying foundations for our new way of life. And even though RV life has officially begun, we’re still preparing for the road ahead.
Here we are with the finality of it sinking in, one foot in the old world and the other foot not quite travel ready. We’re sitting on the bridge between our old paradigm and our new life. It’s still really worky, somewhat uncomfortable and without the fun of seeing new places. We’re tired, exhausted really, and in a state of overwhelm. And with much to do before we ride.
Although it’s totally natural to experience these thoughts of ‘What have I done?’ and to feel stressed out and overwhelmed, I know what we’re doing is exactly right. It’s exactly the right thing. It’s exactly the right time. This was not a rash decision. A lot of time and energy, a lot of thought and preparation went into this.
We will learn, we will grow, we will adapt. And we will get the water heater working! But most importantly, we will have fun and enjoy the journey. Three cheers to our adventure!!! 😊
For better or worse, being inauthentic is exhausting.