It’s exactly the right thing. It’s exactly the right time.
It is only natural to question one’s own sanity when making major life changes.
It is only natural to want to fill up an entire journal page with the words:
WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE?
It is only natural to wonder ‘WHAT WAS I THINKING? AM I NUTS?’ when making a radical departure from the previous status quo. It is only natural that major life changes bring with them a certain amount of stress and second guessing.
All of this is only natural. But when one makes a choice, a concerted, well designed choice to change one’s life, to shake things up, for better or for worse, it does make the process of the actual change and accompanying stress whole lot easier to manage.
I’m not one to stay stuck in the sameness of things. Mostly. I don’t hang on to things when it’s time to let go. Mostly. I clean out my closet regularly and I donate household items I haven’t used for a time or that are no longer useful for my life now. I’m not a hoarder. I’m not a hanger-on-er. I don’t often become complacent, at least not for long.
But sometimes, I feel that life is no longer moving in the direction I want it to. We grow, we change, we evolve. As human beings living and learning, we grow into someone else and our life should reflect that. The external should change to match what’s going on inside.
Well, the time has come in my life for some radical change. We’ve spent the last year – yes, the entire last year preparing for this. My partner, Robert and I purchased an RV, did a light refurbish, readied our home to become a vacation rental property and, at the end of 2019 moved out of our home and into our RV (who we’ve named Stella) full time. 2020 will be about laying foundations for our new way of life. And even though RV life has officially begun, we’re still preparing for the road ahead.
Here we are with the finality of it sinking in, one foot in the old world and the other foot not quite travel ready. We’re sitting on the bridge between our old paradigm and our new life. It’s still really worky, somewhat uncomfortable and without the fun of seeing new places. We’re tired, exhausted really, and in a state of overwhelm. And with much to do before we ride.
Although it’s totally natural to experience these thoughts of ‘What have I done?’ and to feel stressed out and overwhelmed, I know what we’re doing is exactly right. It’s exactly the right thing. It’s exactly the right time. This was not a rash decision. A lot of time and energy, a lot of thought and preparation went into this.
We will learn, we will grow, we will adapt. And we will get the water heater working! But most importantly, we will have fun and enjoy the journey. Three cheers to our adventure!!! 😊
For better or worse, being inauthentic is exhausting.