This is How Not to Miss A Thing
I love this place so much more than I'd expected. I didn’t even have a grasp of the energy or the beauty of this place. Or how much I would come to love it here. Fall in love with it here. Head over heels in love.
I don’t know what I was expecting, really. Sedona was always this far off, enchanted, almost mythical place to me. A place I'd longed to travel to since I was a young woman. Before I moved to Los Angeles; before I’d been anywhere, really. And despite its close proximity to Southern California, I’d only been to Sedona one time, for 1 day and 1 night, many years ago. I guess when it’s time, you find yourself just where you need to be.
And now is my time to be in Sedona. With each step I take I’m learning more and more what all the fuss is about. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t this. It’s a bit like the best surprise on Christmas morning. Something you always knew you wanted but you didn’t know how much or how deeply it would impact you.
I truly feel like I’m being changed, recalibrated; like I’m undergoing a transformation that goes deeper than cell level to soul level and echoes throughout the cosmos. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this time, this place my entire life.
I want to live every moment to its fullest, to go to every place, hike every trail. Roll around in the Red Earth Energy; paint my body with it. There’s so much to do and see and experience. I feel a sense of urgency not to miss a thing.
But the message here is to slow down. Take it all in. Don’t rush it. Savor it. Feel it in the marrow of my bones. Feel it in the heart of my soul. Let Sedona and the spirit of each individual location wash over me, leave its imprint upon me. Feel into it and listen. Slow down and listen to the spirits of the land. Then give myself the time and space to process, integrate and incorporate this new information.
This is how not to miss a thing.
I Know It Sounds Cliche, but...I Feel it Fits Perfectly
Today is the first day of my new life.
I know that sounds cliché, but…I feel it fits perfectly.
I wanted a new lifestyle, but naturally, some of the old me stepped into it. Truth is, pretty much all of the old me stepped into it. I suppose that’s what makes real and lasting change so difficult at first. Our old selves, our old thoughts, our old sabotages - all our old shit - comes along for the ride.
And all that old shit doesn’t like change. It likes things just the way they are. It resists and it makes you quite uncomfortable in the process.
Until it doesn’t.
You begin to notice and feel the subtle shifts. All the new wanting to come in. Like a whisper, a nudge, tapping you on the shoulder to pay attention. And when you do pay attention, you get a little insight and you feel better. And you go with it. You give that energetic shift your attention. You hop on board, strap yourself in and you go where it’s nudging you to go.
As you go for it, new things, actions, thoughts, habits and ways of being get on board with you and the shift. And the old stuff naturally begins to jump off, fall away. You’re not giving it the attention it’s used to and needs to survive.
Plus, there’s really no room left for it, there with all the new, riding around with you and the shift.
All the old shit can no longer survive without your attention and without you allowing room for it.
I’m sticking with that old cliché, ‘Today is the first day of my new life.’, because it is.
Because a shift is happening within me.
I recognize it. I honor it. I accept it. I welcome it. I allow it to happen. I allow it to be.
So it is, and it is so.
Suckitude is Your Friend. It Tells You Where You Are Isn't Where You Want to Be.
What if everything sucks? What if this whole year, this whole trip is just an adventure in suckitude?
What if we find ourselves, at the end of this year looking back and thinking: “Wow, that was a huge waste of time, energy and money.”?
What if the only fun we have is – was – Oregon? What if we had it right the first time?
Well, I guess then at least we will know. And we won’t have the regret of never having done this, any of it.
I keep trying to get my mind right about things but then, again, we encounter suckitude. I guess part of the adventure is just embracing the suckitude.
The discomfort, the incessant chores, stress, fatigue and lack of our normal standard of cleanliness.
It’s an adventure in Expectation Management, that’s for sure. Acknowledge it. Don’t gloss over the fact that some things suck. Don’t gloss over the fact that some locations are not ideal or even to your liking.
Things aren’t always going to go the way you want them to go. That’s part of the adventure. Acknowledge it and embrace it. Embrace all of it.
Embrace the discomfort, the dirty, the hot, the cold, the constant changing of plans and schedules. Embrace what doesn’t go your way as well as what does. Embrace the experience, whatever that experience is. And make the best of it.
Just because something sucks doesn’t mean you have to be miserable in the midst of it.
Just like frustration is motivation, suckitude is your friend. It tells you that where you are isn’t where you want to be. It motivates you to make changes. It motivates you to make things better. It motivates forward motion.
Part of discovering what you want, what you like, what you enjoy, is finding what you don’t want, what you don’t like, what you do not enjoy. That’s part of the adventure.
This is a great adventure; of that I am certain. But some of it is going to suck. That’s life.
But There is ALWAYS Joy to Be Found in the Journey.
Grab the good. Savor it and love it hard. Seek the joy, the silver lining, the lessons to be gleaned, the good that comes out of every situation.
Find the Beauty because Beauty is everywhere, if only we can find the eyes to see it.
Enjoy the now as best you can and keep moving forward.
There are rainbows and unicorns right around the corner. Of this, I am quite certain.
And then, one day you wake up and you find yourself in Sedona, Arizona. And everything shifts.
Sedona. This is the first place I’ve felt good about being since we crossed the Oregon border and drove back into California three long months ago. Before we drove back to the mountains of Southern California and got our ‘home’ ready to become a short-term rental in preparation for our Great Adventure. Before we moved into Stella full time. Before we set out for green pastures and the great unknown. Ahhh, thank you, Sedona. At long last, Rainbows and Unicorns. (Insert a big, happy sigh here, followed by a smile extending from ear to ear.) 😊😊😊😊😊
It’s exactly the right thing. It’s exactly the right time.
It is only natural to question one’s own sanity when making major life changes.
It is only natural to want to fill up an entire journal page with the words:
WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE I DONE?
It is only natural to wonder ‘WHAT WAS I THINKING? AM I NUTS?’ when making a radical departure from the previous status quo. It is only natural that major life changes bring with them a certain amount of stress and second guessing.
All of this is only natural. But when one makes a choice, a concerted, well designed choice to change one’s life, to shake things up, for better or for worse, it does make the process of the actual change and accompanying stress whole lot easier to manage.
I’m not one to stay stuck in the sameness of things. Mostly. I don’t hang on to things when it’s time to let go. Mostly. I clean out my closet regularly and I donate household items I haven’t used for a time or that are no longer useful for my life now. I’m not a hoarder. I’m not a hanger-on-er. I don’t often become complacent, at least not for long.
But sometimes, I feel that life is no longer moving in the direction I want it to. We grow, we change, we evolve. As human beings living and learning, we grow into someone else and our life should reflect that. The external should change to match what’s going on inside.
Well, the time has come in my life for some radical change. We’ve spent the last year – yes, the entire last year preparing for this. My partner, Robert and I purchased an RV, did a light refurbish, readied our home to become a vacation rental property and, at the end of 2019 moved out of our home and into our RV (who we’ve named Stella) full time. 2020 will be about laying foundations for our new way of life. And even though RV life has officially begun, we’re still preparing for the road ahead.
Here we are with the finality of it sinking in, one foot in the old world and the other foot not quite travel ready. We’re sitting on the bridge between our old paradigm and our new life. It’s still really worky, somewhat uncomfortable and without the fun of seeing new places. We’re tired, exhausted really, and in a state of overwhelm. And with much to do before we ride.
Although it’s totally natural to experience these thoughts of ‘What have I done?’ and to feel stressed out and overwhelmed, I know what we’re doing is exactly right. It’s exactly the right thing. It’s exactly the right time. This was not a rash decision. A lot of time and energy, a lot of thought and preparation went into this.
We will learn, we will grow, we will adapt. And we will get the water heater working! But most importantly, we will have fun and enjoy the journey. Three cheers to our adventure!!! 😊
We Have the Power to Change Our Lives
We can choose old habits and stay in the sameness of whatever rut we’re in.
Or we can make a different choice and change our life.
We can Think a different Thought.
We can Choose a different Action.
We can create a new Habit, however small or profound, that leads us on a New Course.
We have the Power to Change our Thoughts.
We have the Power to Change our Habits.
We have the Power to Change our Actions.
We have the Power to Change our Lives.
All You Really Do Need is LOVE
How do you heal and sooth the savage beast?
How do you heal and sooth
the dark parts and the recesses of the self?
How do you heal and release hatred?
How do you heal and release resentment?
How do you forgive?
By loving yourself enough
to release the hate and resentment.
How do you become the best version of yourself?
By meeting yourself exactly where you are and loving and accepting yourself exactly as you are. By deciding once and for all that you are worthy and deserving of love and loving yourself unconditionally.
You will then begin to make different, more loving choices. Your interactions with others will start to come from that place of love inside of you.
When you love yourself, really love yourself, you become free to love others without conditions.
And the World Becomes a Better Place Just by You Being In It.
Our Flaws Are Our Uniqueness and Oftentimes Our Genius
Hemingway wrote, “The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.”
I first heard this many years ago and it struck a very real chord with me. Over the course of my life since, I have found this truth at play in countless instances.
We see it in the gnarls of an old tree. Years of weather and the knocks it has sustained have shaped it, given it character, have made it stronger where it once was broken and it is all the more beautiful because of it.
Its will to live has been relentless. It has survived.
As human beings we are considered flawed with our imperfections but flaws, like beauty are subjective and in the eye of the beholder. Our flaws are our uniqueness and oftentimes our genius. They make us who we are.
Like the old tree, our experiences shape our life and build our character. They cover every aspect of us. What we choose to do with our life experiences, whether we allow these experiences to make us or break us, shows our true mettle.
And when we do break, do we stay broken or do the cracks mend and fortify our strength, our resolve, our stubbornness to not only survive, but to thrive?
When something breaks, whether it’s a job, a career, a relationship or an ideal we once held dear, whatever the situation, we can choose to either fix it or move on. The discomfort of dissatisfaction can catapult us with a do or die, settle or fly kind of angst that propels us to take the big chances we need to take, because we have nothing else to lose. We become stronger from the experience and we take what we’ve learned with us into the next chapter.
In a world of contrast it is only natural to desire to make something of beauty from the rubble of what stood before. So we keep moving forward. Getting stuck in the past would be tantamount to staying broken. We do our best to stay positive, to see the silver lining of what we’ve learned in every less than perfect situation. We release the anger and the pain and the bitter chain we don’t want to be shackled with. We heal and we become strong.
Vines that make the finest wines are not pampered. They are forced to decide where to put their energy and the fruits of their labor produce something magnificent. It is our bold adventures, for better or for worse that shape and mold and bring out the strength, complexity and the layers that tell the story of who we are.
Let us strive to live our lives strong, like the fine wines, whose vine's age and experiences make them all the more rich and delicious, intoxicating, and mysterious.
There are certain instances in which we don’t move forward with something or bring it to fruition because we feel it’s not perfect. Whatever it might be, we keep refining and revising, changing it around and mulling it over; which then devolves into procrastination and postponement and we don’t finish it because it never seems ‘perfect’. We second guess ourselves. We give up. What’s the use? It’s not perfect.
News Flash: Perfection is Subjective. Things are rarely ever truly perfect.
Perfection is a wily and elusive beast. It’s a trap, a construct of the ego trying to gain control. Perfection is fleeting; it is shifting and can turn on a dime. It breeds unrealistic standards that are very difficult to live up to.
Tweaking and revising are part of the process of most any endeavor. It’s the way we improve upon it, refine it to be what we want it to be, but when falling short of perceived perfection stop us in our tracks and keeps us from moving forward, the pursuit of perfection becomes counterproductive.
Think about something as simple as keeping your home clean (relatively speaking depending on who you share your space with). You know it’s going to get messy again and yet you continue cleaning it because to not do so results in, well an even bigger mess. Trash piles up along with dirty dishes and laundry. Dust bunnies grow to biblical proportions under the couch if not regularly attended to. The state of cleanliness in your home is rarely perfect because you live there and life is messy. Keeping your home clean is a process. Chances are you are a relatively sane human being and you understand this. You don’t just give up and stop cleaning your house because it’s only going to get messy again. You stay on it, you keep at it and you keep moving. And while you may achieve a perfectly spotless kitchen at days end, you know that as soon as someone wakes up and makes coffee and breakfast the state of cleanliness in your kitchen will change. You accept this and you release control. And the whole process begins again.
So why does the pursuit of perfection trip up in other areas of our lives? Whether it’s a fitness regimen, a diet, a creative project, a career goal…pick your prospect…we can get derailed in the pursuit of perfection.
Chances are we’re doing the best we can at a given moment. Some days we have 120% to give and some days we have only 20%. Most days it’s somewhere in between but let’s be real; we’ve all had those days when ‘Good Enough’ has to be good enough. Most times we strive to do better because we feel that ‘good enough’ is just barely making the grade, is reserved for unmotivated slackers and we’re capable of so much more. We beat ourselves up at both ends of the spectrum because we’re either behaving like a slacker or we can’t seem to achieve perfection despite our best efforts.
There is a space in between these two pendulum swings.